What's going on with me...

2010-02-28T23:38:00.002-05:00

Perfect ending!

This morning when I came downstairs for church wearing my Canada hoodie, my mother was all dressed up in her Sunday best. Then she saw me sporting my national pride, and she went upstairs to change into her Canada shirt too! =)

It was the perfect ending to the Olympics, and the perfect way to top off the month. To see the country united as one as we celebrated our win in hockey. Waiting in line to get into the bar hours before the game, the bar going nuts, the streets going nuts.........and then to top it off, walking proudly into a fancy Chinese restaurant with the words "Go Canada!" proudly written on my face!

For the last two weeks, the entire country was united in the Olympic games. Random people would talk with strangers about games, events, results, medals.......everyone was excited! The days when our social lives revolved around hockey games and wins and losses.........

I'm so glad I was in Toronto for these Olympics........on our homeland!

Onto March, let's see what God brings!!!

2010-02-25T17:09:00.003-05:00

GO CANADA GO!!!!!!!

Olympic fever has hit T.O with the women owning bobsleigh, Alex Bilodeau getting our first gold on Canadian soil, etc etc. Women's hockey final tonight, the men advance to the semi-finals. The excitement in the air these last 2 weeks has been unforgettable! GO CANADA GO!!!

2010-02-20T09:57:00.003-05:00

4 years ago....

Olympic fever has hit Canada, and I started thinking about where I was during the last Olympics, why I didn't really pay attention. And then I remembered, "Oh ya, I was in Nicaragua around that time!" Wow, it's been 4 years! So last night, before heading to bed, I whipped out the Nicaragua DVD and reminisced a little bit about that missions trip 4 years ago.

It's hard to believe 4 years have already flown by, yet so much has changed in my life. I still remember never being interested in missions ever, and then God called me to join this trip, so I went. And even afterwards, still feeling that missions just wasn't for me. And now look where I am.....back from 4 months in Jordan, and praying about full-time. Chair of the Mission board at TCBC.

Just like the song on the DVD says, "It's not what you can do for me, but what can I do for You my Lord?" Only He knows the future......

2010-01-31T21:28:00.003-05:00

What a month!

What a month January 2010 has been! Joining Executive Board, EMC meetings, getting back into the swing of work, Pastor Tanya resigning, frisbee starting, Tyndale, new fellowship, trying to figure out my life........and to top it off today, my niece was born 10 days early!

Welcome to the world Misha!

Phew, what does February have in store for me? Again, only God knows! =)

2010-01-10T20:49:00.002-05:00

Peace that transcends all understanding

Last night, I went to Rani & Phil's wedding as my dad's date, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a LOT of people there who I knew, people outside of the TCBC crew! So, most of the night was spent schmoozing and working the room between each course and just catching up with old friends, some whom I hadn't seen in ages! There's nothing like spending time with good friends to put a huge smile on my face!

I was really happy last night. But I also felt God speaking to me through all of that. I have a LOT of things going for me here in Toronto - this is MY home. I have a lot of friends, and lots of activities. I have SUCH a life here. Most, including me, would find that hard to give up. Why would I ever do such a thing? But instead last night, I just felt this peace fill me, peace that transcends all understanding. God whispered to me, "You see Grace? I took care of you for 26 years. And I will always take care of you." Yes, going overseas will not be easy. It will be VERY difficult in fact, since I won't have the comforts of home (like consistent hot running water), my support group, the people who know me best. My busy activities. But God will be there. And through it all, I know that He will take care of me. So as each day passes, I am more and more certain that He wants me to go out again. I guess we'll just wait to see how the details unfold this year. =)

2010-01-06T21:35:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!!!! Here's to 2010!!!!!!

A new year has begun, and boy am I excited to see what God has in store for all of us in 2010. He really is creative, as my friend Julia puts it, and so every detail will fall into place, all part of His perfect plan. A plan that I just need to trust in, and be patient with.

The past few weeks were good for some much-needed rest and catch-up with friends. This was also the first time I partied on New Year's Eve, as.....if you know my parents, you would know that I'm not normally allowed out on this festive night.

After a night out with the girls, I learned what it meant to recover from New Year's Eve festivities the next day. But it was a really fun night, and I'm glad that I was able to ring in the new year with my ladies by my side.

Christmas time was also really good to catch up with people. The parties were a big success, as parties provide a good venue for people to catch up with people they don't normally see. The Jerk Crew and CCF parties were a raving success, and who knew that re-gifting could be so much fun?

And for those who know me, you know I don't like to sit around, idly doing nothing. So I'm glad that the new year has started, because then I can get busy busy again! I'm excited for frisbee to start, and yesterday my friend Lilian convinced me to take skating lessons with her. Oh wells, could be fun! Plus I'm hoping (if all works out) to take a missions course at Tyndale. Since I'm here for a year, might as well try to learn more to prepare myself to go back out to the Middle East someday.

Right now, my January is going to be super duper boring, but February is going to be crazy busy and packed with work.

So cheers to a brand new year! YAY!!!

2009-12-21T23:31:00.003-05:00

Baby Steps

As Christmas approaches, I'm reminded of Rev. Byrne's sermon a few weeks ago on Mary. I remember what stood out about that sermon was how he discussed Mary as a person. Normally, we think about Mary and her obedience, her utter faith in God. But for this sermon, Rev. Byrne focused on grace. I won't do the sermon justice, and I'll probably lose all of you on the point, but he pointed out that in the Bible, there is no mention anywhere that before the angel Gabriel visited her, that she was renowned in Galilee as being a young woman of upstanding character. There was nothing to suggest that she was anything exceptional. She wasn't famous for being a woman of God, just an ordinary girl. What makes her exceptional, is that God chose her. He gave her His gift of grace. And she obediently accepted it.

Faith. Trust. Obedience.

God has started to make things clearer to me, in small baby steps. The pieces of the puzzle are slowly coming together - a slow and painful process, and a definite true test in faith and patience. First of all, I know that as much as I want to go back to the Middle East right away, I know that God has called me to stay in Toronto for at least 2010. When speaking with Krista at IS, she advised me to discuss with my church whether they wanted me to go, as they are my sending body. And my church needs me right now. I've been elected chair of the Mission Board and I really feel that I should really serve the church for at least a year. I don't know what the heck I could ever accomplish, but all I know is that He wants me here. So that is where I'll be.

Sooooooo hard..........when it could mean giving up so much in Jordan. So many friendships and relationships that could be damaged by the time and distance. But I have no choice but to be obedient to my Lord, and to just trust that His timing and His way will be the best plan for my life.

Secondly, I do feel at peace with going back to the Middle East. I think God has made it clear to me that He does want me to go back there, it's not just my fleeting "I miss Jordan" whim that is calling me back, or the friends that I miss. Because friends or no friends, I do think that He wants me out and about. Such a scary thought........all that remains to be seen now, is where, when, and how.....

Baby steps, taking it all in, day by day. =)

Patience. Love. Understanding.

2009-12-02T22:06:00.004-05:00

Full Circle?

I started hanging out with these guys during the summer of 2001. The summer between Grade 12 and OAC, more than 8 years ago. And that summer, I remember sitting with Justin Lau at YSM and chatting about our futures. Where we wanted to apply for school, what we wanted to study, what we wanted to do with our lives. I even remember Justin saying, "I don't want to look at charts all my life."

Fast forward 8 years, and we're doing it again. Figuring out what we want to do with our lives. Where we should be.

Did we not figure anything out these last 8 years? Are we that slow, haha?

Or is it more an example of God's providence? The epitome of Matthew 6:25-34,

Do Not Worry

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

We still don't know, and Justin mentioned that we will probably ask this question again in 8 years. But maybe we don't have to. Maybe it's just the Asian upbringing that's ingrained in us, that tells us we have to figure it all out. At some point. But maybe we don't.

Maybe........we just need to take each day as it comes. I mean, it's been 8 years, and we're still fine. We've been looked after. God's taken care of every detail of our lives. I just got back from Jordan, Justin's about to get married.

Maybe, we just need to leave it up to Him......... =)

2009-11-26T00:07:00.006-05:00

Missing Jordan

I miss.......

- talking with you guys every day
- your listening ears
- praying together
- all the laughter, jokes and memories we shared
- seeing you shine for God in every single thing you do
- how you forced me to see things in new ways
- being challenged in my faith every day
- how you made me BETTER!

Julian once said to me, "The past is in the past. There's no sense in harping on it." Maybe I should learn that lesson.

I need to move on and continue to serve God each and every day. Keep looking forward. Not an easy road, but He is always there.

Jeremiah 29:11 ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We will always bounce back. =)

2009-11-23T18:32:00.003-05:00

Bienvenue au Canada

So now that I've been home for a few days, I must say that it's been a bit of an adjustment, and I honestly hope that this week off will be enough for me to get re-adjusted!

There are so many things to do, so many people to see, that sometimes I just want to scream. But at the same time, I'm keeping calm and remembering how I learned to just take things easy in the Middle East. True, deadlines in Jordan are not the same as deadlines here in Canada, but no matter where I am, God is always present. So He will never give me more than I can handle.

It has been a tough few days though. Just the adjustment.

And I really do miss my friends in Jordan. While I am thrilled to see my friends here and spend time with my family, it's hard knowing that I may never see some of those people ever again.

It's funny, I thought my parents were so opposed to the idea of me staying out in the Middle East full-time. Yet on Saturday morning, my father asked me, "So, are you going back?" and before I could even answer and say, "If God calls me to," he instantly said, "Probably." And when he introduced me to Rev. Byrne on Sunday, he told him how I had "fallen in love with the Middle East."

I honestly don't know anything right now. I left Jordan at peace and knowing that the only person going home with me is Jesus. He's the only one who will be with me always, and only He knows my future. I won't be able to share my experiences with anyone here, in the same way, but Jesus is always there. And I just have to hold on to that.

I will go wherever He calls. And I just have to be patient and let Him show me in His own time.

Inshall'ah, we will see each other again. =D

2009-11-23T17:48:00.003-05:00

Jordan.......

So I haven't blogged in the last 6 months, since well, between April to June I was locked up in my audit busy season hole and often didn't get home any earlier than 11 pm. Then afterwards, I dashed off to Jordan for 4 months, and given that I was advised against any religious verbage in my email correspondences, I decided it best not to access my blog at all during that time.

So I apologize for my lack of blogging, but I guess there's a lot to update!

From July 21 to November 19, I was living in Amman, Jordan where I worked for a couple of small businesses, providing my accounting expertise. Essentially, I was providing support for full-time workers who live in Jordan indefinitely.

And what an experience it was - not only did the work force me to think outside the box a bit, as I got creative, but it also showed me how much I enjoyed helping other people. God also continued to challenge me each and every day, as I dealt with a different culture and made new friends.

I cannot begin to even list how many ways He was faithful during this time. Every single day, He would teach me something new and show me His provision in every little detail of every trip and in every person I encountered each day.

I chose this picture to sum up my trip, because it was in the desert at Wadi Rum where I really felt the epitome of Psalm 23, where I could feel God really taking care of me and speaking to me. He is always there.

God is so faithful. 'nuff said. =D

2009-03-29T20:41:00.003-04:00

Middle East here I come???

So the application process is still going on, but it may look like I'm headed to Jordan for a few months. There's lots to be determined, and nothing is certain yet, so we'll see what happens. But that's crazy....

I'm getting excited, but I also have to remember that this isn't some trip or exchange, it's serving God. So I have to get that "so cool" and "so fun" image out of my mind.

2009-03-08T13:10:00.002-04:00

When?

Last night, I had one of those moments again - something I've never admitted to in the past, except to my closest girlfriends. One of those moments where I broke down and just cried before God. When? When is it going to happen for me? When do I get to share my life with someone? When do I get to follow a guy?

As I see people get engaged one right after the other, swallowing the fact that God is just saying "no" right now, isn't easy. I guess it's even harder to swallow when you see friends hook up, friends who met THROUGH you.

Lord give me the strength to just wait on you. It's better to wait, I have to hold on to that.

PS - as an update, I went and applied to Interserve. My summer is in His hands now

2009-02-15T22:02:00.002-05:00

Obedience vs. Passion?

So it's been a while since I've updated - the last month has been surprisingly busy, despite the fact that I don't go out as often. Somehow, the hours just seem to fly by anyway - perhaps it's the old age beginning to set in, haha.

Anyway..........a lot has been on my mind lately. It's funny, every time I am thinking things over in my head, I always think about how I'd type it out in a blog. But when my fingers finally reach the keyboard, I find that I'm at a loss for words.

Basically, to sum it all up, I've determined that Australia just won't be in the cards for me this year. But now I'm wondering whether or not to apply to go on missions with Interserve. A few weeks ago I was so certain that I would. Now..........maybe my mother's worries and doubts got to me. Maybe I just realized how much I like my life now.

I've finished 80% of the application. Gotten the TCBC mission board's approval. Gotten Rev. Wong's recommendation. But then there's that gnawing feeling that.........I don't want to do it. I like my life now.

But then, what if God has called me? Shouldn't I answer? Shouldn't I be obedient to what He has asked me to do? But then, shouldn't I also be passionate about doing this?

*sigh* Still praying about it.........

2009-01-04T19:59:00.002-05:00

Samana, Dominican Republic

Many thanks to the ladies, Lil & Anna for a great week! The trip was lots of fun, relaxing and exactly what my body needed before diving into another busy season of work. No more vacations until the summer, so soaking up the sun while I can!

Overall, the perfect way to finish off the 2008 year

2008-12-19T22:21:00.002-05:00

Better in Time

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
- Leona Lewis

Okay, so this song didn't describe my situation this year EXACTLY, but I definitely was feeling the same emotions. Definitely something I went through during the winter of 2008. And it was all for the best. As the 2008 year draws to a close, I can't help but respond in thanksgiving to all the blessings that God bestowed in my life. Giving me the courage to let go, and just move on. And it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

If I hadn't made that decision, I wouldn't be friends with the people that I'm friends with now. I wouldn't be doing the things that I do. So praise Him! He always knows best!

2008 marked a quarter century of blessings - what will 2009 bring? Only God knows....

2008-11-23T22:14:00.002-05:00

25th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many thanks to everyone who made my entry into the next quarter century so much fun! I'm truly blessed to have you all in my life! =D

2008-11-02T21:04:00.003-05:00

What??? I thought I had already made a decision!!

*sigh* God works in such funny ways. A month ago, I blogged that some decisions with respect to my career had been made and I was happy with this solution to the never-ending, "What should I do next God?" question. Because at least I had figured out 2009. I'm an accountant, I like plans. And it seemed like the next year's plans were the most logical and what God wanted me to do. But now........God's been funny, and has thrown in some new...."options", shall I say, into the mix.

Option #1
So..........literally 5 minutes after I spoke with Angie and told her I didn't know what was happening with my desire to go to Australia, but that all I knew was that I wouldn't be applying this year, the partner came by my desk and asked about Australia. She asked if I wanted to be put on the list to apply for summer 2009. I told her that I felt summer 2010 was better, because I thought I had a better chance since I had more experience. She encouraged me to try this summer anyway, and I agreed. Matt, my manager, also mentioned that I did have a good shot given that they needed lots of people in Melbourne.

This was a bit of a shock, because I had just come to terms with the idea that I wouldn't go this year. I felt this was what God was telling me to do. People kept telling me to pursue this "opportunity of a lifetime" which was bothering me since really, all I wanted to do was meet someone, settle down, and get married. That, and I didn't want to miss Elyse's wedding. But after chatting with Elyse about it, she pushed me to apply (note, the application process doesn't begin until March 2009 anyway), and so I came to terms with the fact that hey, just maybe, I might be going to Australia NEXT summer. And if I didn't get that, then I'd go back to my other plan, which was stay in T.O to write my CPA and go for the FAS secondment.

Option #2
Then today, option #2 hit me smack in the head in today's sermon. But let me back up a bit first, as this was just the culmination of a series of events from this last week.

The real irony in this option, comes from the fact that maybe just a few weeks ago, Bryan asked me in Perspectives class one day, "So, what do you think of today's speaker?" to which I responded, "I'm realizing more and more that world missions just ISN'T for me." Most people attend Perspectives class to learn more about Missions, to become more passionate about it. Me, I wasn't getting anything. I was just getting more turned off, in fact. Just more and more affirmation, that my mission was the 1st world, and that I was meant to stay here. To earn more money to support other people who had the heart to go and serve overseas.

Fast-forward to last Tuesday's class, where a couple who are ministering in France were the speakers. France? That perked my interest, as France has always had a special place in my heart ever since Toulouse. And then they discussed how they might move to Africa to French-speaking nations - and that perked my interest too, since I used to have a heart for Africa and always considered using my French-speaking skills to work there. Then the wife also gave a talk on women in missions, and that definitely appealed to my Q.WIL feminist side. At the end of that class, Jas and I just looked at each other and said, "Interesting...." We knew God had spoken to us, just not sure how.

Then today, sitting at TCBC. Little things here and there. The EMC bulletin which updated us by saying, "spiritual food is not passive learning but the active 'doing' of God's will. By doing, we are feeding ourselves." Then Dr. Pui's sharing about her life as a missionary and all the different places she has served. And then, Rev. Kung's sermon. He started it off by saying, "I just wanted you to have the right PERSPECTIVE." THAT WORD - PERSPECTIVE! Plus he discussed the 7 non-negotiable ideas of Christianity, of which evangelism was one, Missions was another.

This morning, God just made it so clear that He was calling me back again to serve Him overseas, somehow. I just don't know where - my guess is somewhere French-speaking.

Option #3
This is a spin of Option #2. I instantly thought about the international development program that my firm offered last year. Now, I'm not sure whether it will be offered again this year, but essentially the firm grants you 3 months leave of absence to go overseas and volunteer - they provide all the costs. Originally, I thought that we were required to find our own placements, so I thought this was a good idea given that I could partner with a Christian mission organization. But as I read the requirements, I realize that is not the case - were I to go, I would be partnering with VSO Canada and I would likely be placed in one of their projects.

But from discussing it with Anna, it may be a good fit since this would give me time to pursue something (with the firm's okay) and give me an idea of where I should go or what I should do.

So all of this has been thrown at me these last 2 weeks. *sigh*

I'm just so confused and my mind is just spinning. What should I do????

2008-10-13T22:32:00.002-04:00

Congrats Linda & Lawrence!!!!!!!

This past weekend wrapped up my wedding season for 2008. Special thanks must go to Mike for being my fabulous date again. I really enjoyed this wedding, as it was very short, yet sweet. These 2 have been such mentors in my life these past few years, listening to my whining, guiding me in my career and just providing so much encouragement. I am truly happy for these 2.

Congrats L&L!

2008-09-28T20:00:00.003-04:00

Some decisions have been made!

How quickly the month of September has flown by -it seems like not too long ago when it was just summer and I was getting ready to embark on vacation. Many thanks to those of you who have been praying for me as I did a little reflection and soul-searching as to what was next in my life. I'm happy to report, that a few decisions have been made. Nothing ground-breaking, but baby steps at least.

So I've decided to put my dreams of doing an exchange to Australia, on the shelf for another year. It didn't seem to make sense, given that my rating wasn't exceptional, so getting an exchange after my senior 1 year would be next to impossible, also given that I don't have any experience with large companies. That, and I felt that there were other career avenues I wanted to pursue this year and get over with. Plus Elyse's wedding (and other weddings too!).

So...........the tentative plan (I say tentative b/c things can always change, nothing is ever 100% certain in this life) is to qualify in the spring and then hopefully do a secondment in advisory. This will give me a chance to try out advisory and see if it really is for me, or whether I prefer audit. Also, this also gives me the chance to attend all the weddings in the summer, especially Elyse's, and also study for my CPAs. The other big plan is to write my CPAs in the fall 0f 2009. At that point, if I still have that itch to work in another country, then I will re-think that possibility then. But for now, I'm staying put.

That being said, yesterday, I also turned down the position for Mission Board Chair. This was a very difficult decision for me, given that the entire Exec Board and pastoral staff really wanted me to take up this position and were really rooting for me. And after numerous guilt-trips from the senior pastor, the senior pastor's wife, the current chair.......I really did find myself backed up in a corner. But what it came down to, was heart. I really don't have a passion for the Mission committee anymore. And I know that sounds so selfish and petty, but I feel that it's a bad idea to be the leader of a committee when you don't even care about its ministry and purpose. I was hoping that the Perspectives course this fall would make me passionate about missions again, but actually, it's doing the opposite. Making me realize more and more that world missions is just not for me (more on that later).

So I guess one NEW question is.........where do I fit in TCBC? How does God want me to serve there?

Anyway, the Perspectives course, plus my close group of friends, is making me realize that world missions is just not for me. When I say that, I mean that I do not feel called to live/go to another part of the world to do mission work. I strongly believe that my ministry is here, in the 1st world, amongst the rich and the wealthy. That is a group that I feel is overlooked.

I'm rather sleepy now, so I'll end this update here, but ya, thanks again to all those who have prayed for me!

2008-09-17T19:20:00.002-04:00

Change is in the Air.......

As Lawrence pointed out to me last week, "change is in the air." It's the start of a new people year at work - new promotion to senior, new responsibilities. How different things were a year ago. A year ago, the whole crew was still at the firm - now Shahir, Shawn, Sachin and Mike are all gone. So different - I was right to think that the last office Christmas party would be the last one together. And with us all qualifying this year.......I have a feeling that a lot more will head out the door pretty soon.

This fall also marks the first Vertigo season where I'm not playing with Allan, Fiona OR Lawrence and Linda. *gasp* It is going to feel so weird with all these new faces. Especially since I played with Allan since the beginning.

Last Sunday was also the farewell service for Rev. Nolan. Seeing the slideshow brought tears to my eyes, as did Yuling's sharing of our times at Jeremiah winter retreats. Oh Jeremiah fellowship, how faraway those days seem. Nolan was my pastor for 10 years, and it's going to be hard not having him around at TCBC.

And of course, no more Angie. No Angie to call on the phone, no Angie to hang out with.

Change is in the air...........and I'm slowly accepting it and moving on.

New life, new responsibilities.....God is the only constant.

2008-09-11T20:30:00.002-04:00

Perfect Vacation - Showers of Blessings

So now I'm back in T.O after a month off of vacation. And it was exactly what I needed. God is so good and I have just been showered with so many blessings. From seeing all my friends and beholding the beauty of His creation, I can't help but sit back and be thankful.

When did I ever get so lucky? How do I have people who treat me so well? From Yannick's huge apt in downtown Paris, to being shown around the German alps, as well as meeting up with the boys and them telling me how happy they were to see me.......plus not to mention the number of times God protected me.

All I can say, is God is good! =)

Meeting up with the boys in Ibiza!
Lake Koenigsee in the German Alps

The vacation was exactly what I needed - a good rest to refresh and re-energize. =)

2008-08-13T03:50:00.003-04:00

What next Lord?

So I'm finally on vacation, yay!!!! After the last 2 months of work work work, it's nice to finally sit back and relax a little. To just do absolutely nothing and ignore work emails. Even though I'm sick, and a little bored, I am welcoming this down "me" time, to just sit back, reflect and think about what God wants me to do next.

Lately, I've been discussing with a lot of my fellow work entourage, as well as my Comm '06s, where life is going to take us next. It's so funny to think that as I prepare for this fall's upcoming recruiting season, that 4 years ago, I was sitting in that very same spot. 4 years! Isn't that insane? And as I've said before, when I first signed on to the firm 4 years ago, I thought that was the end of it all. I was pretty certain that I would just stick with accounting, climb the corporate ladder and be headed on to the partner track. I mean, even up until 2 months ago, I was still pretty certain I'd stick it out for a while. My resume hasn't even been touched since that fall of 2004.

Now, slam in 2 months of brutal clients, and my outlook has completely changed. Now I'm like the rest of my bitter friends, counting down the days until I qualify and have the option to leave. And now I find myself wondering......what next? Will I stick it out? It's so funny, I remember discussing the international exchanges with Sara back in the winter, and she said she didn't want to go on one, simply due to the 1-year commitment in audit afterwards. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm totally happy, I don't mind that at all!" Now......it is one of the factors that is keeping me from applying for the exchange, because really, do I want to be tied down to audit for that long?

Don't get me wrong - I really love the firm. The firm has been great, and has really helped me grow and develop these last few years. I'm just not sure this work is for me anymore. I definitely have lost a lot of desire and drive to give my all and best in it. If I can find work that I want to do within the firm, I'll gladly stay. The only thing KEEPING me in audit, is the rewarding feeling I have when I can help out my NPO clients. It really makes me feel like I'm using my itty bitty knowledge to make a difference in the world.

But that begs the magical question - what work DO I want to do? And to that ladies and gentleman, I must say, I have absolutely no clue. No clue whatsoever. Who knows what will lie ahead for me.

This morning, I even came to the revelation that maybe I'll just quit after I qualify, hahaha. And take time off. I mean, I was thinking about how sometimes I wish I could just pick up and travel the world for a bit. Or do something random. Like teach English. Or go on missions. And then I realized, after I qualify, why not? I mean, what's to stop me right now? I don't have a family I need to support just yet. So who knows, it's a possibility.

Only God knows where I'll be, a year from now. I may end up just being boring and staying in my job (which is very likely, in which case this post would have been for nothing). I'm actually quite looking forward to the Perspectives course this fall, to re-open my eyes about missions.

What next Lord?

2008-07-22T23:03:00.002-04:00

Change

I don't deal well with change, I never have. I like things to stay the way they are, especially with respect to friends. I don't like it when people leave. I guess I get comfortable, and get used to people always being there. I guess I rely on constants.

Nolan's leaving. The English Ministry is losing their pastor, just months after the retirement of our long-time senior pastor. While it's not a total surprise that he would.........I guess I just never thought it'd happen. I figured Nolan would be like Rev. Wong - at TCBC for life. For 40 years.

People have been constantly leaving me the last few years, and it's definitely been difficult. Once you get comfortable with someone, then they leave on you. *sigh*

But the hardest part of it all, is Angie. While I am counting down the days until my vacation, it's very bittersweet, because that also is the same countdown until when I have to say goodbye to Angie. My best friend these last few years, and the one who's seen me through so much laughter and tears. Who else will I turn to and pray? Who else will I joke and laugh about stupid things with? I know God has called us all to go our separate ways, but it's still very hard. While I'm looking forward to vacation, it'll be tough to go back home and know, that she's not there. 2 years....

2008-06-29T19:17:00.004-04:00

Update

So I realize I've disappeared from the blogging world for a bit (although I'm not even sure who still reads this thing). I also realize that these days, my blog is nothing more than a random update about the things that I do, with a little bit more verbage and thought than facebook will allow. However, if you have Facebook, chances are, you're pretty up-to-date.

I guess the main reason my blog posts have been lacking depth is due to the fact that I'm more shy and less open. Countless times in the past, I have opened up to people and just gotten badly burned. So I'm all the more careful. As much as I just want to vent my thoughts and frustrations over the many things that go on..........I'm just not ready to put it out there anymore.

So anyway, what's been up with me? Work work work and more work. I'm almost at my wits' end, and am definitely burnt out. I know I shouldn't complain, because out of all my co-workers, I'm probably the one who juggles work/life balance the best. I've still managed to keep up my social life and go out with my friends on a regular basis.

But everyone still needs a break from time to time, and I'm just at that point. Ask me a month ago, and I would tell you that I'm really happy at my job, and I love the people that I work with. Now, I still love the people that I work with, but the work is just getting frustrating. That and combined with the office politics that you begin to witness as you get more senior and well...but the thing is, I guess I shouldn't complain. I mean, isn't there office politics everywhere? Isn't that the nature of who we are as human beings? There will always be differences in opinion, hence politics. And with the economy in the shape that it is today, I'm really not in too much of a position to jump ship and find a more secure job. *sigh*

I think I just need a break - I've been pushing forward for the last few months, in my go-go-go momentum, but that momentum is just dying down. I just need to get through one more month of bad jobs/projects, and then it'll be vacation time! I can hardly wait! =)

But over the last month, I've had some fun activities!

For instance, the '06 Spring Roll party! It was really great to hang out with the Wongs again and to just get everyone together. I remember that night, just sitting there chilling and catching up with Johnny, Darren, Mike and Di, it definitely felt like old times - that nothing had changed since we left Queen's, and that we were still together, everyday. I guess it goes to show that no matter what, no matter how far apart we are geographically, we'll always have that.

I also went to my first non-Asian/non-church wedding! Elena's wedding was definitely a new and fun experience, and I'm really happy for her. Russian/Jewish weddings are definitely different from the standard Chinese Christian wedding that I've been to, but I had a good time!

Just 1 more month until vacation............

2008-06-08T22:19:00.002-04:00

My Personality Type - ISFJ

So on Friday, we had career day at work. And to prepare for career day, we had to take a Myers-Briggs personality test. The results were fun to read, and Mike told me that my results were dead-on accurate!

So, I am an ISFJ. Which stands for "Introverted Sensing with Feeling." People who are ISFJ are:
- Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious
- Committeed and steady in meeting their obligations
- Thorough, painstaking, and accurate
- Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel
- Strive to create an orderly, harmonious environment at work and at home

The career day was actually a lot better than I expected, and I really enjoyed hearing from the senior managers in audit. I thought they'd be the worst presenters, but they ended up giving the most valuable advice and insight. Definitely made me consider staying.

It's weird - I felt like my career was all set out when I first signed on to Deloitte 3 years ago. Now......I feel like I'm at the beginning again, wondering what's the next step.......

2008-05-26T22:39:00.002-04:00

375J Dance Moves - Always in Style

It was great to party it up with the girls again on Saturday night! *sigh* How long ago it seems when we were last together, dancing up a storm with our crazy moves. I miss those days. Thanks for another great night girls!

2008-05-25T15:03:00.002-04:00

New Vertigo Season

It's been almost 6 months since that tragic day. I'll still never forget it, and we'll never forget her. We played for her this year, and we dedicated the last game of the season to her. This whole experience taught me so much, and I hope I never forget it.

A new season of Vertigo has begun. Back to outdoors and a great way to start off the spring! Go Vertigo!!!!! =D

2008-04-17T21:54:00.003-04:00

Goodbye CCSA

So yesterday, I met up with some people on my new softball team, and really, it is remarkable how much has changed in my life over the last 4-5 months. My whole sphere of friends has changed, and so it is truly interesting how God works.

Now is the time of year when CCSA forms are coming out, the leadership clinics are being held, and the umping tests are being written. This is usually around when I start stressing about the theme and vision for Recon this year, start planning the season, practices, etc. So it feels a bit weird to be getting those CCSA emails, and just ignoring them. At the same time, it's a little refreshing. I loved Recon, and I loved serving on that team, serving with Davin. But the time came to move on, and I just didn't have the energy to give the team what it deserved.

So last night, when I met up with my new team, it kinda made me laugh a little inside, over how random this arrangement was. I mean, I really thought I wouldn't be playing softball this year. And then, one afternoon at a bar, I meet these 2 guys, and within 10 minutes of talking to them, they ask me to join their softball team. And after much debating, I say yes and bring along 2 girls! It's also funny, because I've never considered myself a good softball player. Yet when I chat with them, I kinda realize that 9 years in the CCSA has taught me a lot about the game, and so I actually have some experience and knowledge. Who woulda thought?

Still, as much as I'm relieved to not be in the CCSA this year, there are so many aspects of it that I will miss. The camaraderie mainly. I realize how many people I came to know and respect because of this great league. People I had the honour of serving alongside with, over all these years. The friendships. The laughter and cheering. And of course, Recon.

So I'm curious to see what this new team will bring. =)

2008-04-16T22:29:00.000-04:00

Busy Season

You may not see me for the next little while. Why? Because busy season is here. *sigh*

Quick update - I said yes to the beer league. So softball and ultimate this summer. Probably no 2nd ultimate team though. And still trying to nail down plans for the summer. Anyone wanna go to Europe with me?

2008-03-25T22:12:00.002-04:00

Party party

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted - where did the month of March go??? Well, I spent the first week of it sick, so that takes away 1 week! And then the snow storms cancelled some plans...

Anyway, all is well with me - I've had the chance to go snowboarding again, and I'm really blessed to have Allan & Mils in my life. They have such warm hearts, and they're so hospitable. They're so patient too! Each time I go, Allan devotes so much time to teaching me how to snowboard, which takes away from his own snowboarding time. He's so nice like that. The two of them have been such a blessing in my life these past 2 years, and I don't deserve such kindness.

What else? Party party party - I've definitely been chilling with the boys a lot, and bringing some of my girls along for the ride. It's been fun times, and the boys are super sweet to me. Again, they're a blessing in my life and I love them to pieces! =D

Chilling with them has taken up most of my time. That, and this is around the time when every single one of my friends usually has a birthday. So that means a bday party to attend almost every week. So right now, birthday season, then after, busy season, then after, wedding season. =P Though fortunately, not too many this year!

I'm currently in a debate about whether to join a beer league softball team. It's kinda random actually. After making the decision to quit CCSA, I was really looking forward to having my weekends free this summer. The ability to just go away and not feel guilty, go up to my friend's cottage, etc. And then on Monday, I was hanging out with Stef and met her friends - they randomly asked me if I played softball and asked me to play on their beer league team. At first I said no, but now I'm starting to consider it.

I'm not sure though - I'm worried that beer league will be TOO drastic a change from the Christian CCSA league that I've grown so accustomed to. I worry that it'll be too much for me. Yes, I know most people say I should get out into the world, but what most of you don't know, is that I already am IN the world most of the time. Most of my closest friends are not from the church circle anymore, so I worry that I may put myself in a position where I have no Christian community. But the team does need girls! And they seem like fun people.

And all the meanwhile, other guys are asking me to join their CCSA teams, cuz they also need girls, haha. =P But that's a big no. Hmm, decisions decisions...

2008-02-27T23:05:00.003-05:00

UFE Ball!!!

This past Saturday was the CA Convocation and Dance, and it was SO MUCH fun! A big thank you must go out to my buddy Pat, for being my awesome date! It was so great to see my old Queen's accounting profs, catch up with the Comm '06s, and party it up with the Deloitte crew!

Pat & Me
Me & My Comm '06 Girls
Deloitte Girls!

I had such a good time on Saturday and all I can do is sit back and praise God that I have such amazing friends. I am truly blessed to have such kind people in my life, people who are super nice to me and treat me so well. How did I ever deserve this?

And it was funny - for once, seeing all the actual couples at UFE Ball didn't make me sad. This past weekend actually gave me more encouragement. If I can be SO happy and have SO much fun chilling and dancing with someone who's just a friend, how much more amazing will it be, when I am in the arms of someone who loves me? For the first time in a while, I truly had faith in my heart, that God does have someone amazing for me. And it's something to look forward to. =)

2008-02-19T22:32:00.002-05:00

NYC 2008 - Family Day with the '06 Family

The last weekend with Angie down in NYC was so much fun! It was good to explore a new city with Angie, do some shopping, and have some NICE weather! Wow, 16 degrees yesterday in New York, no snow on the ground, no slush.......it felt like we were in Miami or something! (But no, Miami will be next year).

Partying until 3 am every night and sleeping at 4 - I don't think I've done that since my Toulouse days. But NYC is a city that doesn't sleep! It was SO AWESOME to see Ric & Jordan again, to just hang out late at night, just like K-town times. *sigh* How I miss those days.

Another amazing part of the trip was checking out the infamous "Brooklyn Tabernacle" on Sunday morning. It is truly an amazing church. And Pastor Cymbala's sermon really spoke to me that Sunday. Wow, God really knows how to use His servants. A definite good reminder of how, "It's better to wait." Wait. Be patient. Wait on God. Don't get antsy. *sigh* Much easier said than done. But God does know best.

Thanks guys, for an awesome weekend. =)

2008-02-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

End of an Era

4 years of serving with this great brother in Christ. The last 4 years serving on Recon have truly been a blessing. The fun, the sport, but most importantly, the friendships. Having a good partner is part of what makes serving so much fun, and it has been such a blessing to serve with my buddy Davin these last 4 years. God truly used us and we were able to complement each other very well. I remember when I first joined Recon, I barely knew this guy, and now, he's one of my closest buds.

But now, it's time to move on. Recon-a-recon-a-GO!!!

2008-01-27T15:54:00.000-05:00

2008 Outlook

Oh my, how quickly the month of January has flown by. I know it's a bit late to be talking about what I expect out of the new year, but these last few weeks, I've just been super busy between work and friends, that I haven't had much time to even sit down and just reflect. I only forced myself last week to really sit down and meditate a bit, and get my thoughts down in my journal.

I never expected the year to start off with so many startling events, but that is how God works - we don't plan these things. But nevertheless, I am very optimistic about this new year. The past year, I held on to a lot of things that really made me upset, things that I wanted in my life, but I guess God knew better. Time wasted, tears wasted. And now I'm letting go.

Don't waste another moment. Every gasp of air that we take is so precious. That's the lesson I learned from Kat. And that's what she would have wanted.

So...........2008 is a year of new beginnings:

1) New small group - I've joined a new small group, many thanks to Allan & Mils. I'm not sure what will happen here, but it's definitely good to have some regular fellowship again. It will take an adjustment though, given that over the last few months, I've gotten used to some heavy partying on Friday nights. But as I told many people, a choice had to be made. As important as my other friends are to me, I can't only hang out with non-believers. I have to balance it out with people who share the same values and faith as I do.

2) New activities - I have tried snowboarding! YAY! And it was fun! Many thanks again to Allan & Mils. Honestly, those two have been so good to me, I don't even begin to know where to thank them. And they're really patient teachers. I hope we can go out many more times.

Also, Davin and I have decided that we will not be leading Recon this year. So then, that remains to be seen whether I will be a part of the CCSA at all this summer. I will know in a few months. But it will definitely be different, not leading. But I think this will open up time for me to spend more time with other people.

3) New friends - I'm definitely spending a lot of time with my co-workers nowadays, which has proven to be super fun and highly entertaining. I consider it such a blessing that through God's gifts, I can meet random people and just hang out and have fun with them. I've met many people in this way. It still remains to be seen how I can be a tool for God with this group of people, but in the meantime, I am just thankful for the blessings he has bestowed on me.

2008, I'm excited. We'll see what God has in store. =)

2008-01-05T10:27:00.000-05:00

In utter disbelief......

It was just a night to play some frisbee pick-up. Just another night. I hadn't seen her in so long - she congratulated me on passing the UFE, she mentioned she hadn't seen me at the UFE results party, so she wasn't sure. I asked her if she had been at the Deloitte Christmas party, and she said yah. "Wait, I think I saw you - didn't you have a friend passed out on the table puking?" "Yah, that was me." Then we laughed. And played frisbee.

1.5 hours later, I'm chatting on the sidelines with Mils, and I look up to see her collapsing. No warning. Liz & Kevin check to see how she is, and you hear Lawrence yell, "Call an ambulance." What happened? Did she twist an ankle? Did someone hit her by accident?

Seizure, somebody says. Then you see Liz & Kevin administering CPR, and you realize it doesn't look good. "No pulse" they said, and she started turning blue. "Nothing happened - just stiffened up and collapsed out of nowhere." The seconds feel like ages as the ambulance quickly arrives. And so you think, "Oh, they'll just take her away now, everything will be fine." But then they're there for a while - just pumping her chest, giving her CPR. Her husband is called - "No history of this ever happening."

Finally, they take her away. We gather in groups to just pray. We go home to hear that they got a pulse. She's been stabilized, but not out of the woods, moved to the ICU. But you still think it will be fine. Then Friday night, the news comes - she passed away. Details unknown. Complications to the heart and lungs.

I didn't know her well, but.......she was so friendly and sweet. We joked around. Great handler. As much as I trust God in all this, I can't help but be confused. And wondering...why? She was so young.

RIP Kat...you're in a better place now.

2007-12-29T00:04:00.000-05:00

In HK

Wow, I have not blogged in almost a month??? Shows how busy I've been. And here I thought I'd be uber bored during the month of December, as I didn't really have too much socializing going on. But for some reason, once December hit, I'd get really exhausted as I came home every night from work - they weren't even insane busy clients.

Then, all the parties began! My partying schedule over the last 2 months has been a bit insane, somewhat. To the point where I am all partied out and now....SICK. blech! =( My head is throbbing, I'm coughing, but don't tell grandma! She'd freak out if she knew how sick I was. I'm trying to just hide it. Only Sam knows.

Hmm, so what have I been up to lately? Just parties. My schedule went something like this:

November 30 - UFE Party
December 7 - Mo's birthday party
December 9 - April & Elaine's Christmas party
December 10 - Vertigo Hot Pot party
December 15 - Deloitte Christmas party
December 21 - CCF Christmas party
December 22 - Sachin, Jesse & Kevin's Christmas party
December 23 - in the morning, hopped on the plane to HK

So yah, here's hoping I can kick this sickness before I jump back onto the plane to Toronto. Overall, it's been nice to be back, great to see Ricky & Steph again. I need some more rest though!

2007-12-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

UFE Results Day

10:30 am - Go to spa to distract myself before results come out

12 noon - walking home but going to the bank first, wondering why he hasn't called me yet to tell me the results?

12 - 12:15 pm - panicking. Why hasn't he called? Why is his cell phone off? Ohmygosh, I failed, that's why he's not calling. That's why his cell is off. He doesn't know how to tell me. Tears start to fall as I walk home.

12:20 pm - April calls. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: "Uh, hi.........?"
April: "Hi..............? You haven't checked????"
Me: "No, my friend was supposed to check for me and he didn't call."
April: "It's 12:20!!! How can you not know by now??? Dude, you passed!"

What a relief. Wow.

I didn't deserve this at all. Especially seeing some of my friends who didn't pass, and they work so much harder than I do, and are way smarter. I also knew I didn't give my best, and in all things, one must give her best for God's glory. So I didn't deserve to pass. Undeserving of such grace.

A big thanks to Diane for coming out last night to celebrate with me, and to Lawrence, Linda & Ken for putting up with my freak-outs on Thursday and encouraging me through. =)

Me & Elyse
Group 115!
Ari, Me & Mike

2007-11-18T22:12:00.000-05:00

THANKS GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks girls for a great weekend of parties! I miss hanging out with all of you and so it was great and super fun to party it up this weekend!

2007-11-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

I love a good deal!

A really good sale at the client today:

8 books + 3 CDs = $21!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-14T22:07:00.000-05:00

At a Crossroads - Identity Crisis

Q.WIL 2007 was this past weekend, and it was great to be back in Kingston and attend this amazing conference. Each year, I'm always so inspired by the speakers and I always can't believe I used to help PLAN this conference. It was also great to see some of the other '06 girls as sponsor reps and catch up with them! At first, I was a little nervous when I walked in, because well, I didn't really know ANYONE. But I realize that as a sponsor rep, people always want to talk with you. So it was great that way. =)

But it really left me a lot to think about. Every time I attend Q.WIL, there's always amazing speakers who inspire you to change the world and really make a difference. These are exceptional leaders who have really done amazing things, and you just think to yourself, "I should do that too!" But while they were inspiring, it left me thinking......"What exactly ARE my dreams?" And it made me stop and think for a bit. What am I passionate about? What do I have a desire to do? And I really drew a blank. I really couldn't think of anything.

And then this made me think even more about who I am these days. These days, I've been going through a bit of an identity crisis. I just don't really know who I am anymore. I mean, I know I'm a Christian, but what does that mean in my daily life nowadays? I look at the "typical Christian girl" and know that I don't act like her - I party and club way too much. Within the Christian circle, I would be viewed as a partier. But amongst my co-workers and fellow Commies, I'm the goody-goody girl. So I'm neither really. And then, amongst CCF-ers (the ones who are left), I also feel really different just based on the lifestyle I lead. I have a completely different job, being in the corporate world, and it kinda isolates me from them.

I dunno, it's a lot of random thoughts and ramblings, but the bottom line is, these days, I kinda feel like I don't really belong anywhere. I don't fit completely into any group. Before, my group was my Queen's crew. My fellow CCF '06s. But now that everybody's split the country, I can't help but feel a bit lost. The people I spend the most time with are my co-workers. Hence all the partying. But at the end of the day, it's not a deep relationship, and so sometimes, it just leaves me feeling a bit empty. Not that they're not great people, they are! But it's not the same. Don't get me wrong, I have my girls, without whom, I would be completely lost.

So it's two things now - where do I belong? And what does God want me to do next?

2007-10-17T22:55:00.000-04:00

Picking myself back up

A few words from my Teen Study Bible (yes, I know I'm no longer a teen, but funny how those Bibles can still be so helpful!)

Love keeps on trusting God even when the right choices you make don't turn out the way you want.

Love doesn't give up just because something goes wrong or because your feelings are hurt. God is in charge, so those who love just keep right on loving.

Good reminders to pick myself back up and move on. Moving on...........that's kinda been the theme of my life this past year. Just looking at my friend Steph's photos on Facebook - she's so happy with Ricky and with her new life in HK. I can't help but be happy for her. But just seeing those photos really reminded me of how much I miss her. And how much I miss the fun times at Queen's. The whole crew split the country. But life goes on..... =)

2007-10-08T11:55:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to the NEW Mrs. Lee!!!

Excerpts from the speech we gave really sum up our thoughts:

What can you say about Mel in 5 minutes?

Pretty, smart, funny, amazing chef and baker, cheesy jokes, woman of God. A friend, a good listener. Honest. You were there for our crazy silly moments, you were there to listen when we were down, and most importantly, you were always there to pray for us. You were even there to put out the fire.

Will, we are entrusting our Mel to you. This is our best friend, and we expect you to take care of her. We expect that you two will grow in love and grow in God together, for the rest of your lives.

Mel, we’re so happy for you – you always wanted your first love to be your last, and that is God’s blessing and protection in your life. We wish you the best of luck as you start your new life with Will, serving the Lord.

*sigh* I can't believe she's married!

2007-10-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

Life just isn't fair

*sigh* Life just doesn't seem fair these days. That's been the story of my life, like, this entire year. In everything. Friends, work, etc. It just doesn't seem fair. Of course, some of you philosophical types would step in and say, "What is fair?" "Who judges what is fair?" "Be happy for what you DO have"

Yeah yeah yeah

This latest event of how the cards fell.............is kinda starting to be the last straw for me. I mean, why do I even bother sometimes? Why do I try so hard? Why try, if it's not going to matter?

The only thing that is keeping me going is that voice inside my head, reminding me, that everything I do is not for men, but for God. And in everything I do, I must do it for His glory.

But so much easier said than done. And it's just so frustrating...

2007-10-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

Harsh Reality

Yesterday was the first day back at work for most of us, as we'd been off on study leave. And what a harsh reality it was. After partying it up at Deerhurst for the last week during training, we came back to our first day in the office, only to discover that 27 of us would end our careers there that day.

Just like that, with no warning.

Well, I can't say NO warning........we all knew the firm was making some cuts ever since we lost our biggest client last fall, and that times were tough. But not to this extreme. And we didn't expect so many at our level. I mean, especially after we all went to training together. It's like last week was frosh week, and we all started classes, excited for the year ahead, only to find out that 27 of our classmates had failed out of school. Even though I didn't get the axe, still, it just hits hard.

And I guess, that's the harsh reality of life. People get laid off. I don't blame the firm at all, it had to be done. But I guess the security and belief that our jobs were secure is well.......

It hit everyone else pretty hard. Morale at the office is low, as people are still reeling over this huge cut.

2007-09-30T20:18:00.000-04:00

Mel's getting married....

http://www.jonathanchiu.com/

Watch the video at the above link. *sigh*

As I watch this video, I can't help it as tears come to my eyes. Mel is getting married. My girl is getting married in less than a week.

And as I see the photos and how happy she is, I can't help but be happy for her. I'm so happy for her. She's so happy and they're so in love.

2007-09-28T22:39:00.000-04:00

Boredom

I am so utterly and completely bored. I have been for say.........the last month. Honestly, study leave does me no good, as I cannot sit around and concentrate for that long. I've spent so much time on Facebook this last week that my friends are now calling me "gracebook" - but it's not that I'm addicted, it's more the fact that I just have nothing else to do with my time. And major apologies to the friends I constantly bug cuz I'm bored.

I can't wait to go back to work.

But there's a part of me that's just thinking that maybe God is taking away things for a reason. Like I'm de-staffed next week, which pretty much means I'm going to be in the office twiddling my thumbs again. I'll pretty much be on Facebook. The second I found out, I emailed all my other managers, asking them for work to do. And today I cut my finger pretty badly, so I likely cannot go climbing tomorrow, so it'll be another day with no plans, sitting around twiddling my thumbs, again. *sigh* People don't really understand that about me. Why do I want to work so badly? I dunno, I'm just such a restless person and I need to always be doing something otherwise I go nuts. I need to be productive.

But God's not letting me......

2007-09-16T22:00:00.000-04:00

Congrats Pris & Jesse!

Wedding #4 of the year, and one of the most anticipated! Pris & Jesse have always been such an inspirational couple to me, because they love the Lord so much. Even throughout their ceremony and their banquet, the entire time, they focused their attention on God and gave Him the glory. Their wedding was so romantic, but it was cute, because you could see they were such romantics based on the pure and genuine love they had for the Lord, and how God's love flowed out of them.

It's such a blessing to have seen this couple grow right from the beginning - I still remember the day that Pris told me she was dating somebody, and to come to this point now.

Congrats Pris! I'm truly happy for you!

2007-09-11T19:19:00.000-04:00

Thoughts and Musings

Study Leave
So for those of you who don't know, I have been on study leave for the last few months. I had a board exam in July, and I passed that, so my last one is next week. Thank goodness! I think it's been far too long off work, to the point where this whole studying thing is making me a bit psycho. I have the shortest attention span when it comes to studying, and absolutely no discipline. Me and other friends are also at the point where we just can't study anymore. I just want this done and over with! (Though I'm sure I won't be saying that once I'm back at the office working overtime!) =P

Softball
So another softball season has come and gone. How quickly the summer always seems to fly by. This season I must say, was one of the funnest - Recon has never been tighter and I loved all the laughter and all the jokes that we shared. We even surprised ourselves by making it to the playoffs and then making it to 2nd round, something that has never been done before! Wow! But I must say, that after 9 years of playing CCSA, this is likely going to be my last. Some are trying to convince me to stay - oddly enough, random people from other teams who I've come to know through the league over the years, are saying I should. I don't know - there's a lot of factors to consider, and all of those factors are leading me towards a resounding 'No'. I really think it's time for me to move on. However, the fellowship on Recon is truly amazing, and I can see that being the only reason I would return. I would miss my Diane time!

TCBC Responsibilities
So apparently I've been put on the ballot for Chair of the Mission Board for 2008. Wah??? Nolan even said, "You'd definitely be the youngest." Me? Sitting on the Executive Board of TCBC??? But then Ron explained to me that I'm just the second nomination. Normally they want 2 names on the ballot, so that the congregation has an option for voting purposes. And historically, the 2nd person is never voted in. Initially, I wanted my name taken off the ballot immediately. But now that I'm thinking about it...I dunno, I definitely would like to see Missions become more active at our church, to see us become more aware and more passionate about the work that goes on outside our church doors. Not just hearing about people's mission trips - while I love hearing how God works and seeing our members' desires to go, I think it's become more of a routine story. To the point where we're so used to hearing people's story and we just sit back and think, "Wow, that's nice." I really want more than that. Soooo maybe being the chair of the Mission Board wouldn't be so bad after all. Though I don't think this year is the year. I think I still need another year to really understand how things work at TCBC, the procedures, etc.

But on Sunday night, I had a really good talk with Shu. Great catch-up with the guy, and good words of wisdom. Ironically enough though, he said he felt so much more at ease talking with me, hearing how things were going well in my life. And I was thinking to myself, "at ease??" Cuz personally, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster these past few months. So much change is going on in my life, and in all honesty.........yah...........

2007-09-10T23:49:00.000-04:00

First 375 Bachelorette

It was a really fun night, and good times with the girls. hahaha, Angie & I really should not be allowed to attend bachelorette parties, much less, plan one. We're evil. But good times. =P

2007-09-05T16:11:00.000-04:00

Bridesmaids

When you are asked by your friend to be her bridesmaid or her maid of honour, with that comes certain RESPONSIBILITIES. These include:

1) Planning the bridal shower/bachelorette party
2) Telling the bride WHEN her bachelorette will be (preferably more than 1.5 weeks notice, given that the bride has a jam-packed schedule)
3) Telling the bride how she will get to this party or where she should go
4) Telling the other bachelorette party guests where to meet/go
5) Telling the bride whether or not she needs to dress up
6) Essentially, making sure a bride is present AT the bachelorette party

These simple tasks are the responsibility of the bridal party and should NOT fall to other friends who are not in any way a formal helper of the wedding.

Okay I'll stop. Just needed to rant that out. I'll move along now and put it past me.

2007-09-03T22:40:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE!!!!!!!

Always good to see the 375 girls!

2007-08-22T00:13:00.000-04:00

I heart Justin Timberlake

He definitely brought sexy back!

2007-08-19T22:44:00.000-04:00

Recon's busy day - August 18, 2007

11 am - Rob & Amy's wedding @ TCBC

2 pm - Recon & Knights

WE WON! So that meant:

5 pm - Recon & SOUL

After the game, back to the wedding!

Man, I was so tired after all this running around the city and all the wardrobe changes. But congrats Recon on making TCBC history and getting past the 1st round of playoffs! Considering we didn't even expect to make playoffs, way to go!!! We played our hearts out and it showed!

2007-08-07T22:48:00.000-04:00

A softball-filled weekend

This year's team has been such a blessing. I must say, the tightest Recon we've ever been, and I've had so much fun! =) Can't believe the season's almost over...

2007-08-06T23:19:00.000-04:00

Lost Facebook too =(

It seems whoever hacked into my account also decided to start deleting my photos, my wall and my profile info off of my Facebook account too. I can't access my Facebook, but Anna & Davin checked my page for me. Boo.........who is so mean to me?

2007-08-06T12:17:00.000-04:00

No MSN, Hotmail or Facebook =(

Boooo, I cannot access my MSN, hotmail or Facebook! Problems signing in. After discussions with friends, they have concluded for me (since I am computer illiterate) that my accounts were hacked into! So I'm just waiting until they get back to me.

I feel so cut off

2007-07-29T23:52:00.000-04:00

Back from HK

It is soooooooooo good to be back home! I had a lot of fun in HK, visiting my grandparents, shopping and seeing Sam. A special thank you should go to Sam for keeping me company all week and taking me out with his friends and stuff. This photo is of me and the cousins going out after Leon's bday dinner for the Beer Festival at Lan Kwai Fong. Poor grandma freaked out when she saw the souvenir beer cups the next day! =P

But yeah, there is no place like home! Definitely glad to be back!

2007-07-10T23:42:00.000-04:00

My sister got married!

2007-07-02T10:47:00.000-04:00

The '06s

Out of this photo, only 2 are remaining in Canada! *sigh*

2007-07-01T14:19:00.000-04:00

What's in a Name?

So, given that my sister is getting married next week, the house is going to be VERY empty once she is gone. From 5, then Sam left, now Pris, down to 3. So, I've been toying with the idea of getting a cat again, since we've been cat-less for about 4 years now. Obviously this is STILL an idea - I really want to get a cat, but my dad is not saying yes to the idea yet - in fact, it's been met with a big resounding no. But in case I can manage to convince him, I've already started looking at potential candidates on the Toronto Humane Society website.

Anyway, I really wanted to adopt these 2 brother cats - one was white, one was black, and they were named "Ying" and "Yang." But alas, they have already been adopted. =(

So anyway, Anna and I started thinking about what names we could give pets, if we got them in pairs. So, we're really curious as to what other people think. These are our top choices:

1) "Gin" and "Tonic"
2) "Whisky" and "Scotch"
3) "Noodle" and "Dumpling"
4) "Ha gao" and "sieu mai"
5) "Cha siu" and "Bao" (though hard to call after the cats with that name)
6) "Smirnoff" and "Soho"

Thoughts?

2007-06-27T22:26:00.000-04:00

Great Game Vertigo!

Great game yesterday team! Way to end off the spring season! We started off rockily, given the conflicts with the league and permits, *sigh*. But an interesting day before the game too:

Story #1
TCSSC said we were on the said field at Sunnybrook Park. We arrived there to see a soccer game underway, and they claimed that THEY had the permits for the park. We called TCSSC, they said the park supervisor was "on his way" to kick them off. The soccer team got off at half time, and another ultimate team decided to get onto the field, set up, and start playing. Obviously, the soccer teams did not like this at all, and felt this very rude. That was when Lawrence said to me:

"Grace, tell your friends to quit their game"
Me: "Friends? Huh?"
L: "The soccer team - it's your firm's soccer team"

Then I instantly remembered that my SENIOR MANAGER (Trevor) was the captain of the company soccer team, and I instantly spotted him on the sidelines, upset, and saw him approach my team captain. At that point, I jumped and tried to hide behind Niall as he was arguing with Lawrence. But no luck - Trevor spotted me and instantly said to Lawrence, "You guys have to be nice to me, because SHE works for ME." =S Per Trevor, I will now be sent to work in Thunder Bay for 6 months........haha. But talk about AWKWARD!

Story #2
As Rachel and I were walking to the field, we noticed someone we didn't recognize tossing around. He was wearing a red Saints jersey. Rachel asked, "Who is that?" After squinting and thinking about it for a second, I said, "That's Ryan - with his hair shaved off." Rachel and I could NOT believe it - Ryan? Shave off his hair?

Anyway, when we approached Ryan about it, he had apparently shaved his hair as a fundraiser. And he added, "Now that I've shaved my hair, I'm dateable. Though that means I must dismiss my old mantra."

Me: "What motto was that?"
Ryan: "If you grow it, they will come."

Lillian's facial expression to that was the best, and her sarcastic response of, "How did that work for you?"

Then, Ryan added that it was a better motto than his high school mantra.

Me: "What was your high school motto?"
Ryan: "Sit back, and attract."

hahahahaha, we were laughing for a while. =D

2007-06-25T17:58:00.000-04:00

Fun Weekend

Thanks to the girls and to the team for a super fun weekend. Nice way to relax after Practice Exam #2 and doing some more studying for the SOA. It's probably the 3rd music concert I've been to in my life, and this was the first big one I've ever attended. Who knew the Fray had such a teeny-bopper following? The screams from these girls did get a tad annoying at points though. =P

Check out all the lights from digital cameras as the Fray

performed their classic song, "How to Save a Life"

Queen's Recon Girls!

Mucho thanks must go out to all the people who came out to watch our game on Sunday! Thanks for cheering us on and for being supportive! Thanks to Johnny for graciously taking my low blows. Also had good catchup talks with Andy & Shu this weekend, which is a rare thing. But I really enjoyed it.

8 more days..........

2007-06-17T23:06:00.000-04:00

Love the comments =P

So today, I went to National to pick up a new bat for Recon, and right when I entered and turned into the bat section, the sales guy ran over and was like, "Can I help you?" I just muttered that I needed the Synergy Flex, and he handed it to me. And then I noticed that National was having a "Buy 1 Get the Second 50% Off" sale, and so I couldn't resist. After lots of browsing, I settled on another bat, and when I asked the sales guy his opinion, he gave me a quizzical look.

Salesguy: "That IS a good bat, but well.............it's for very HIGH END players............and well..."
Me: "So it'd be good for the good GUYS on my team?"
Salesguy: "Oh, GUYS....yeah yeah yeah, it'd be awesome."

I couldn't help but chuckle a bit to myself - I do NOT look like the type of girl to go around buying bats. I got the same treatment at the cash:

Cashier: "Are you buying these bats for YOURSELF???"
Me: *smile* "For my team"
Cashier: "Because these are SERIOUS bats, for SERIOUS players..."

I just find it funny. Obviously when a girly girl walks in and buys bats (while also wearing a very girly skirt) the sales guys can tell in an instant, that I do not belong there. haha. It gave me a good laugh for the day at least

2007-06-11T21:27:00.000-04:00

Grace is...

- currently on study leave
- swamped between SOA classes, studying and practicing/debriefing cases
- busy planning Mel's engagement party
- busy helping Pris with her wedding in less than a month!
- loving softball
- loving frisbee

...overall, really really busy!

2007-06-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

RECON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pouring rain and thunder/lightning held back our first game for a week. But it was still a great start to the season! Loving the team this year! RECON-A-RECON-A-GO!!!! Need I say more?

2007-05-12T21:08:00.000-04:00

Disappeared.....

So I know I've disappeared for a while - some people wondered where I was, since I wasn't online that much, etc etc. I've just been super-duper swamped. Between work, people visiting, and softball, I haven't had much time to myself. And I'm rarely at home. So much so, that I have never even seen the guests who are staying at my house, haha.

So here's a little photo synopsis of what I've been up to:

1) Claire-Marie visited Toronto, Canada for the first time! It was really great to see our favourite French gal again, and to show her the amazing country that we live in. And she really loved Canada!

2) RECON!!!!!!!! As my friend Anna said, you know it's summer when I start getting stressed and swamped with softball. But I'm definitely looking forward to another season sporting the bright blue jersey on the field!

3) Recon again - the season started off with some practices and a Kickoff party at my place. We've already had very memorable moments (leaving our mark on a tree @ Silverview, haha), and the boys were up to their usual eating contest antics. Who rock, paper, scissors to finish off food? Only these boys do! haha! *sigh* Gotta love Recon....

This is my first night to myself, haha. So the first chance I've had to even update my blog and stuff. Next step, journalling......when I have the energy!

Aight, latez peeps!

2007-04-16T22:46:00.000-04:00

Kingston Visit!!!

Just got back from a super fun weekend with my girls in Kingston! Glad I got to party with y'all one last time in K-town before you gals leave (and then there's no one to party with anymore) and before some of you split and circle the globe. Yummmy Woodenhead's goodness (the Nonna Mela pizza is the best!) as well as some greasy and heart-attack-causing Stooley's poutine! Good to catch up with everyone else too and go to Elixir one last time, haha!

On another note though - BYE BYE JON!!!!!!!

Hope you have lots of fun "Down Under." We'll all be missing you back here in Canada. I hope you don't love Australia SO MUCH that you never return (cuz it does happen a lot). So don't forget us all up here!

2007-04-08T17:42:00.000-04:00

Niagara Falls!

A fun day trip with the girls, acting all touristy in Niagara Falls as we sampled yummy fudge, went shopping and just partied it up! Great idea April! Too bad it was still super chilly and snowy. But all in all, a fun trip! What will we do for Sara's bday next?

2007-04-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

New Toys!!!!!!!!!!

So, my credit card has taken quite a hit these last few days, what with covering the Queen's recruiting event, plus lots of gas money for going to the clients, and of course, my new toys! hehe! No more spending for the next little while. But aren't these beautiful?

New Toy #1 - the Easton Synergy Flex. And no, it is not on the banned bat list. Edmond almost gave me a heart attack when he said it was, but it isn't. The Synergy 2 and the Synergy Plus are on the list, not the Flex! I even checked the SKU numbers.

New Toy #2 - Climbing shoes! I decided to treat myself yesterday, and since I'd been good with my spending this month, and since I'm going more often, why not? Though climbing may get put on hold, now that the gyms are getting so busy in the summer. Maybe I'll wait until fall again. Recon season is starting up soon again! So excited! =)

2007-03-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

When buying property, timing is everything...

...especially when buying Boardwalk! heh heh heh!So, last night, I went over to Andrew's place and a couple of us TCBCers played a good game of Monopoly. Now, I am new to these Monopoly gatherings, and Andrew had already warned me that they're pretty hardcore when it comes to this game. He warned me that games had been known to last until the wee hours of the morning, and when I told him that I didn't care, I would just quit early around midnight, he proudly boasted, "Don't worry, you won't last that long."

So it was quite a joyful moment when at 10 pm, not only was the game been over, but I had beat them quite nicely in my first Monopoly competition. I lasted until the end. And beat them badly I had. =P All because of some nice trades I made, and some lucky rolling. I honestly don't care about winning, but I had to admit, seeing Andrew get all upset over my win, after his proud boast....though I should keep quiet. Cuz then he'll never invite me over again. Definitely enjoyed the bragging rights at church the next morning, hehe! But overall, a fun night with the TCBC crew. We should play games again! hehe!

2007-03-10T13:58:00.000-05:00

Unexpected Present

So yesterday, when I got home, I was checking the mail at the front entrance of my house, and I noticed a couple of things for me - the usuals, phone bills and bank statements, etc. And then I saw that there was a "Notice of Attempted Delivery" from Canada Post - which was odd, since normally someone is always home. What was even more peculiar was how I realized that it was for ME! A package delivery? I hadn't ordered anything online recently.

Anyway, I went to the post office today to pick it up, and the clerk handed me a box from amazon.ca. Even more odd - I've never shopped there. If it was Indigo, maybe......but even then I'd remember. The idea that maybe it was my accounting textbooks from the ICAO crossed my mind, but that's really way too quick of them, and they'd usually send it to the firm. Anyway, I walked home with the package, thinking to myself, "What the heck could this possibly be? Clearly books, but what books? And when did I buy these?" I also flashed back to a blog Melly once wrote, when I had sent her a book from Indigo as a Christmas present. Indigo didn't indicate who had sent it to her, so she was wondering where the mysterious book came from and was worried that it was a stalker.

I finally got home and opened up the box. The first thing I picked out was, "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck, and I instantly thought to myself, "I DEFINITELY did not buy this!" (considering I have zero idea what this book is). Then "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and "Love in the Time of Cholera." Still confused, I finally got the amazon.ca packing slip, where all my questions where answered. It was a gift! An unexpected but very sweet and thoughtful gift from an old friend. A friend from across the ocean. There was even a little note from him on the packing slip, in French of course! Smart guy for buying it at amazon.ca so he didn't have to pay custom charges! And it would explain why he accidentally chose "Mrs." as opposed to "Ms" when filling out my address.

I'm so touched, and overall it was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture on his part. So, merci beaucoup Cyrille!!!! =)

2007-03-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

Settlers = The End of Friendships

So after months of hearing other people yap about how fun and amazing this game was, I finally tried it out last night at Steve's place. A special thank you must go out to Di for organizing a very fun hot pot dinner. Always fun to chill and eat meat! Anyway, Johnny & Di explained the game to me last night, and I must say it's lots of fun! Though it can get a little competitive, and I could see friendships ending over it, hehe! =) Now I understand why a board game can end friendships (people used to say that about "Risk"). haha! Can't wait to play again, so I can learn better! =)

2007-02-19T23:18:00.000-05:00

Congrats MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We always jokingly said that you would be the first 375-er to go. But man, we never thought it'd happen so quickly. Still in utter shock and disbelief from your jaw-dropping announcement tonight, but I must tell the entire world, CONGRATS! I'll admit, the gatekeeper hasn't totally opened her gate yet, but I am truly happy for you. To see you grow to become the woman of God that you are, and to see you really trust your life and future to Him. All I can say is WOW! Engagement party to come, don't you worry.

PS - a side note to Will. You still owe me an exam. And I expect it back SOON.

2007-02-12T22:53:00.000-05:00

Death by Spicy Chicken Wings

So I was at Andrew's potluck b-day dinner, just merrily enjoying myself, eating some dinner and trying to listen in on the dinner conversation around me (and noticing that every girl at the table had something flashy around her finger). I had picked up some of Allan's tequila wings, which were pretty yummy, and I also had grabbed one of the few remaining wings from a styrofoam box - I guess someone had bought them as takeout or something. Anyway, not thinking much about it, I proceeded to take a few bites of that red wing. I soon learned that it was a GRAVE mistake............3 cups of juice and 5 cups of water later, (plus plenty of laughs by Andrew & Brian) Andrew finally kicked in to my complaints of burning lips, saw that I was indeed turning red no matter how much liquids I was consuming, and finally gave me some milk instead (at the suggestion of one gal who said it would help more).

After much discussion, it was determined that I had consumed somebody's extra hot and spicy wing contributions. Needless to say, after all that liquid and milk, plus the wing, I really wasn't feeling so good afterwards, and I had definitely lost my appetite. I'm going to definitely be a bit more weary when I pick up a wing at a potluck dinner from now on. Only honey garlic in the future. Oh well, at least I gave Brian & Andrew a good laugh.

Anyway, the last few weeks have been pretty busy with work, ultimate, etc. But thankfully and only through God's blessings, have I not been too stressed out, and the busyness is a good busy. So yeah, things are going well. Lots of time with the Commies, just chilling with friends, catching up, etc. And in other news, I think I have gone to a new level in athleticism:

Ta-da!! I have actually gone out and purchased my own climbing harness! So much more comfortable than those rentals, especially when you're coming down from the wall!

All in all, it was a great weekend. So good to finally catch up with my accounting girls, hang out and have fun with Tracy, wish Robb a happy bday, and just catch up with some Comm '06s. So thanks for a great night out at Schmooze guys!

2007-01-22T22:13:00.000-05:00

Showers of Blessings

Many thanks for all your encouragement, prayer and support. A big thank you must go out to the girls especially, for putting up with my constant whining, breakdowns, tears and freaking out. Results came out yesterday, and through God's grace, I passed! =) And only through God working, did I find out in the best way possible - Mel messaged me unexpectedly. None of that anticipation as I clicked on the website, that would have killed me. And I'm glad it was Mel who told me!

So this past weekend, I also went up to Kingston to pay a visit to the girls! It'll probably be one of the last times I get to stay with the Refugee girls, since in February they'll be here, and in April, I doubt I'd bother them during exams. But we will see. And then next year, not as many people to visit. Felt odd a little, especially being at fellowship. I've definitely moved on from all of this, from the student life and all. But at the same time, it was still fun to eat at the restaurants I missed (Stooley's fries, Royal Angkor, yum........)

Clubbing at Elixir was fun times as always, and full of FUNNY memories, hehehe! "Will you be my teacher?" "What elf did you borrow those shoes off of?" "What are you, 20? 19, actually." "1987!!!!" I also got a chance to catch up with a lot of the younger gals who I miss seeing at Goodes Hall or on campus. So definitely a good weekend. It was also nice to go back to Bethel and participate in their worship again. Such a simple, traditional hymn, yet it really hit:

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God,
And His righteousness,
And all these things shall be added unto you,
Allelu, alleluia

Right now, I definitely have a lot of things on my mind, lots of things to ponder. Many areas of my life demanding my attention, not sure how to sort through it all. But as the hymn, seek the kingdom of God first. Then all will become clear.

Back in T.O now, back to my regular work life. The boring life, haha. =P But my life, regardless. And I wouldn't trade it right now. =)

2007-01-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

2007 Outlook

So yes, I'm a few weeks late to be blabbering on about my 2007 outlook, but hey, I was busy! And right now, I'm super bored here, so I might as well procrastinate a bit by publishing some of my thoughts.

A month ago, when I was preparing my 2006 Christmas letter, the letter I prepare every year for my friends to just summarize what I was up to in 2006, I looked at my 2005 letter for feedback. And it really occurred to me that in 2005 and 2006, I led REALLY EXCITING lives! Wow, the things I did, the places I went, the experiences.........and then I got kinda depressed as I thought about what I had to look forward to in 2007. Because it was pretty much work, work, exams and more work. What a depressing thought! Is this what my life has become?

But for starters, a friend reminded me that I never expected to do the things that I did in the previous years, so who knows what God has in store for me this year, right? Also, just because I'm staying in Toronto now, does not mean life will be boring. It just means life is different.

While 2006 was a year of surrender, faith and obedience (not saying 2007 won't be), full of many heartbreaks and times of distress, I know that it has only helped to shape me into the person that I am today. And while some issues are not over yet, I must stick to my new motto - it's a new year, let go of the past and move on. I can't keep holding on to things, else I'll miss the opportunities that God has in store for me this year. And He has so many things! This winter will be busy, b/w small group, salsa, ultimate.......and I am excited to see how God wants to use me on the Mission Board, etc. Recon planning will start soon, plus 3 weddings in 2007! So I guess I just need to be open. And concentrate, focus. While some parts of my life may be hard right now, I have to remember that I have SO MUCH going for me these days. God has showered me with so many blessings, and so I need to focus on what I do have, not what I don't. Course much easier said than done, but that is the goal....

2007-01-08T21:39:00.000-05:00

Saturday was Ghettofabulous

Congrats to the winners of the Ghettofabulous Party's costume contest! hehe! And big thanks to Phil & Lawrence for organizing the party! It was tons of fun, and an easy theme to just dress up too! hehe! A great way to celebrate my end-of-exam weekend!

So glad the exam's over.........though who knows how it went. Just at peace now, trusting it to Him. Just glad it's over, since it took so much out of me. Phew. Back to a normal routine, nice.... =) Today I'm in Walkerton, and man, I've never driven through so many small towns that I've never heard of before! Oh wells, fun times! At least this time I'm not alone, I have company at mealtimes and such.

Excited for ultimate and salsa to start up! Yippee! Normal routine again!

2006-12-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

CKE Panic

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Less than 1 week left, and these practice exams are NOT going well. Have I ever mentioned how much I suck at multiple choice exams???? Give me cases any day, I love tackling those.

A few more days of torturous studying, but at the same time, then the anticipation of seeing whether or not I passed.....................if I do, that's totally God's grace, cuz I am definitely not smart enough to pass. *sigh* Definitely gotta make plans to rewrite in May.......

2006-12-23T22:19:00.000-05:00

Great Christmas Party Guys!

Thanks girls for all your help! Couldn't have done it without you! And thanks guys, for coming out! It was really great to see everyone again, to be reunited back in the T-dot after everyone roamed the earth and went our separate ways. And thanks for all the jokes and laughs! From funky scary gifts, to see-saw fun, and...........what do you give to someone you love Ziggy? HERPES! hehehehehehe!

Johnny & Darren prepare to draw their rubber-band firearms

Ric & Johnny have fun on the seesaw

Hmmmm, maybe a new tradition has sprung up? Annual Christmas parties eh? A possibility! We'll see!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2006-12-15T22:27:00.000-05:00

On Study Leave

There are definite perks to being on study leave: sleep-in, stay-at-home all day, stay in your bum clothes all day, never leave the warmth of your house, etc. But the downside is, studying is REALLY boring! And depressing! How I long to just go out. Surprised I lasted one full day of not even leaving the house.

This down time has definitely left me with lots of time to think and reflect too. I haven't come up with any concrete answers, still lots to sort out and figure out. Still wrestling with a lot of things in my life, lots of emotions, not sure how to act, how to deal with them, etc. One day I have one answer, the next, I feel called the opposite way.

Reading Ricky's blog.......all I can do is sit back and say WOW. (www.xanga.com/rickykchan) How I wish I could be where he is right now - Ricky is one of those guys who's definitely always been such an encouragement to me. So smart, and such a man after God's heart. Just to hear that passion in his voice as he proudly proclaims that he is where God wants him to be, how he's just letting God show him where to go with each and everyday. WOW. Just laying his life down in utter obedience. I guess it just makes me take a step back and think, "Am I where God wants me to be right now? Am I doing His will?" Not so much with my work, but just in my life altogether. And I guess I'm just trying to think of what He wants me to do next. And how I need to prepare my life for that.

I'm probably not making much sense, because I don't even understand myself right now. But basically, there's lots to ponder over the next few weeks. And then there's the voice of reason that's also saying, "Quit daydreaming. Just study."

2006-12-08T16:08:00.000-05:00

Bored in Training = Playing around on the Internet

Hehe, after seeing Cho & Tammy's results, and add to that the fact that I was bored, I had to give this thing another shot and try it out for myself. The results are quite funny, hehe!

This program totally bases things on the smile. I used a different photo and got different results. Though both times, they say I look like Shirley Temple (I disagree, so I left it out of my collage). I got the other A1s onto this during Training, haha. The results are funny!

2006-12-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

Humpty Dumpty brand = Disappointment

Last Saturday, en route to our 212 reunion, I stopped by No Frills, b'c tis the season for EXAMS. I have a certain, specific snacking diet during exams, so I thought I'd stock up at No Frills, since it's cheaper than Loblaws or A&P. Anyway, one thing I always crave is Smartfood.

But lo and behold, there was NO SMARTFOOD at No Frills! =( But then, I noticed that Humpty Dumpty had its own "White Cheddar Popcorn" which seemed to be the same thing. That, and I had tried regular Humpty Dumpty chips, and I've always found them to be okay. Also remembering that 401 presentation on the company last year in class, always like to support the Canadian underdog.

Anyway, you can imagine my disappointment today as I sat and reviewed my notes from my last CKE class. The stomach was growling as I waited for dinner, so I decided to treat myself to some Smartfood. But alas, when I popped those kernels into my mouth.........YUCK! This bitter salty taste filled my mouth! Ew! Disappointment! Boo, and I really wanted Smartfood too. Needless to say, this Humpty Dumpty version can NOT compare to Smartfood. One of those times where you have to just buy the more expensive Frito-Lay. haha, this time I got lazy and just put it on my mom's grocery list.

2006-12-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASSY!!!!!

Who would have thought, way back in OAC, when we met in that limo en route to the AY formal that we would both go to Queen's, live together and become such amazing friends? Living with you over the past 3 years has been such a blessing, and I miss not having you next to me. Have a great day girl! Panoramoa tomorrow! =)

2006-11-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

Congrats Matheus & Mariana!!!!!!!

Imagine my excitement when Matheus messaged me on Tuesday night, inviting me to a "big party in Brazil next year." CONGRATS GUYS! Matheus & Mariana are 2 of the sweetest, nicest people I know, and such a cute couple. They really worked well together and I'm so happy for you guys! I got the entire Toulouse crew excited when I spread the news - and it's looking like our Toulouse reunion will happen Oct'07 in Brazil!

CONGRATS!

2006-11-26T17:39:00.000-05:00

Superficial and Ridiculously Good-looking

3 things to go to Friday night - Deloitte's UFE party, dinner with Cam, and Firkin with CCFers. The UFE party was free food and drinks, so I was bummed to leave that early, but ALL worth it to see these boys.........

*sigh* For one night, as Di said, it was as if they never left. It's so hard to believe everyone's away and in different parts of the world, some not even in CANADA, not even in this time zone. I miss the boys, so it was great to see and chill with Dare Bear & Ric again. Just having us all in the same room, catching up, joking around, laughing. Amazing to see where God has brought us in our lives since leaving Queen's, but also equally amazing to see that in some ways, we're still connected. Too bad we didn't club, I miss THOSE funny moments too, but haha, maybe next time. Until Christmas time guys! Can't wait! =)

2006-11-25T11:31:00.000-05:00

November Birthdays - Part 3

(Note: I wish Blogger would upload them in the order that I upload them, b/c I put them in chronologically! *sigh*)

Pris (right) - November 26.

Ryan - November 19

Alice - November 21

Ericson - November 23

Greg - November 19

2006-11-21T22:26:00.000-05:00

November Birthdays - Part 2

You know, it wasn't until Tammy brought it up at church on Sunday, but all of us November babies are probably Valentine's day babies........9 months before...............ewwwww

Thomas - November 15

Elena (left) - November 13

Tammy - November 18

Dan Bear - November 9

And of course my Recon girl, Diane!!!!!!!! November 11

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE!

2006-11-19T22:01:00.000-05:00

THANKS GUYS!!!!!!!!

It was an awesome weekend of parties, seeing old faces, meeting new ones, and plain ol' fun. And 375 reunions are also rare but precious.

Party #1 - On Thursday, Allan told the entire ultimate team that it was my bday, so the team took me out to dinner after the game. It was so sweet, the popcorn that Allan gave me, and the awkward/funny questions! Hmmm, so skydiving in July with Mils? We'll see! The next day, the client also found out it had been my bday, and they were so sweet, leaving me candy at my desk and a post-it!

Party #2 - Comm '06 @ Alice Fazooli's. Always so good to see the Commies again, especially since I hadn't seen some since the summer. The restaurant also had really good Italian food and pretty ambience.

Party #3 - KBBQ with Diane! The CCF crowd all came out, and a special thanks to people who came all the way out from Kingston just to attend! =) Always good to see everyone again, plus our funny, crazy moments, my embarassing incident in the parking lot, Johnny pretending to be 'sperm' and Mafia.

I am truly blessed to have all these people in my life. Just how many people came out to my parties, and how nice they were, the Facebook postings, ecards, text messages.........I couldn't help but thank God for being so good in my life. Thanks everyone! It was a great birthday! =)

2006-11-14T18:55:00.000-05:00

OK GO!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I'm not normally a huge music fan - and I definitely don't usually wait in line for more than 10 minutes, waiting to see a band in concert. But I had to admit, the "OK GO" concert last night was definitely worth it! I must say, due to the 375 gals' influence, I've now been to 2 concerts at a club, haha! It may seem sad to some, but yeah, I don't get out much. Anyway, despite the long wait standing around, and the late night (equating to a very sleepy me at work this morning), it was ALL worth it just to see them do their dance moves LIVE! hehe! And of course, time with Mel & Jas is always great too. To see what awesome dance moves I'm talking about, just click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEYSlut0Iuc&NR

2006-11-11T22:55:00.000-05:00

November Boys

Blogger only let me upload 5 photos, so I guess my November shout-outs in this post will be limited to the first few November birthdays! Ever since high school ended, November has been FULL of birthdays! Why do I like November? Because that's the month of my b-day too! hehe! So I'm sending out a shout-out to the first 5 of the month:

November 4 - Pat

November 2 - Justin

November 3 - Ken

November 1 - Mikey

November 8 - the biggest jerk of all and my ultimate fav, Edmond! =)

Happy Birthday boys! You have all been such a blessing in my life, and I'm definitely lucky to have you all as brothers and true friends.

2006-11-05T20:05:00.000-05:00

Hide Me in the Shelter

Under the shadow of your wings,
Here in the secret place of your holiness,
I will wait on you, oh Lord my God and King.
Here in the holiest of all,
You draw me near and far, to abandon all,
For the sake of knowing You my God and King.

Hide me in the shelter of your love,
Deep in the centre of your heart my Lord,
How I want to know You more.
And keep me in the shadow of your reign,
Deep in the secret place of holiness,
How I need You more and more and more and more

Doing the right thing isn't always easy. I know letting go was the right thing to do - I am at peace. But it's just hard, cutting out something altogether that you're so used to having in your life, something so amazing. But I can't have anything holding me back from my walk with the Lord. It's my time to be with Him right now. Sometimes God asks us to give these things up for Him. And as I once blogged, love keeps on trusting God even when the right choices you make don't turn out the way you want.

Had to be the one weekend where both Mel & Angie were outta town......I didn't even want to stay after church. I just went home quickly to be by myself.

It's so hard...The tears still fall, but given time, hopefully, they will fade.

2006-11-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Back from Booneyville

It's a shame I didn't bring my camera for my journey to Booneyville, because it was actually quite pretty out there. Anyway, I just got back from what would be my first "business trip." Soooo tired. The first time I went out of town, alone, and had the opportunity to expense everything from meals and hotels to my car rental. But before anyone says, "oooh how lucky" let me point out that when you go away on business, ALONE, it gets very lonely. Combine that with the fact that my second city didn't go well with my wireless card so NO INTERNET....

So, interesting highlights of the week:
- Port Carling only has 1 restaurant and 1 pub
- getting upgraded at both inns to better rooms! =)
- Little Lake Inn in Midland (www.littlelakeinn.com) is SOOOOOOO cozy, highly recommend it to anyone, and the owner makes these AMAZING cottage cheese pancakes
- car rentals don't come with those brush and scrapers; a shame since I could have really used one, as opposed to asking the client to borrow hers
- snowing like white Christmas in Midland
- trying to drive in the snowstorm, scary experience
- coming back to T.O with 2 inches of snow on the ceiling of my car, making EVERYBODY, from 2 guys at Shell + the Shell attendant, the hotel valet when returning my car, plus the Avis car rental guys, ask me WHERE it came from and saying, "Don't scare me with the snow!"

But overall, the isolation was actually a blessing in disguise. With nothing but my worship CDs and the beauty around me, I really got to spend time alone with God. Funny how I would pick up these CDs randomly, ironically, one of the few gifts of Dan's that I've kept. But it was good. I realize how much I have neglected my relationship with God, and how much God misses me. So it's time to spend time with Him again.

2006-10-30T16:24:00.000-05:00

Saturday - 3 parties, 1 day

This weekend was pretty jam-packed with things to do, and so by the time I turned back my clock on Sat. night and hit the sheets, I was pretty beat! It began with an uber-fun dinner and sleepover with Angie & Jas, where we ate our favourite McCain pizzas! (yummy!!!!), bought materials for our Halloween costumes, went to Marche for dessert, and made our costumes! That and the standard reminiscing and laughter that always arises whenever we get together. =)

So after hours of painting, drying and glue-gunning, here's the finished product:

Can anyone guess what we were???? hehe! First off, we were helping Di out with the children's Halloween party at her community centre - Angie and I got assigned the face painting table, which was a new challenge for me, since well, I really CANNOT draw! Fortunately, there was no mirror, so the kids didn't get to see my creations, but I'm pretty happy with the results I got when 1 kid asked for Wolverine and another, a zombie. =P So yeah, in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm the left brain, Angie's the right brain. Get it? hehe!

Then after the Halloween party, I went home, showered and changed, and then I was off to Party #2!

A good few hours at Allan's b-day party, where we played whirly ball! It's actually pretty fun, my first time playing. For those of you who don't know what it is, you're basically playing a form of lacrosse, except, everybody's in bumper cars! hehe! I'll admit, I'm a horrible bumper car driver, and I literally stalled and got stuck a lot, but still had tons of fun. Although walking into the party and discovering that it was a bunch of T3C people that I really didn't know was a bit intimidating at first....but people were nice to me. =)

Then after a long traffic jam on the 401, I made it to Richmond Hill for Party #3! The parking lot was jam-packed, and it was cold and rainy out. So let's just say, I was very happy to discover that our restaurant offered FREE valet parking! Yay to that! The first time I've ever tried valet parking as well! So I happily pulled up in front of the restaurant and handed the keys to the valet, saving myself a good 10-15 minute trek in the cold rain, in my high heels.

Happy Birthday Tif!!! It's been way too long since I saw you last, and it was really good to see you again! Plus, time with Mel, Liv & Tracy is also uber special and fun to me.

Thank goodness we changed the clocks back that night - I definitely needed that extra hour!

2006-10-29T16:48:00.000-05:00

R.I.P Chino - 1971 to 2006

Yesterday was Chino's funeral, and while I couldn't make it myself, my sister showed me the program from the service, and it was very touching to read what her family and close friends had written about her. That she never blamed God for having breast cancer at such an early age, and that she never gave up hope, for the sake of her young daughter. Then this morning, as we were walking to church from our car, we noticed Jim & little Vanessa walking in front of us. How it broke my heart to see Vanessa, so young, to have to grow up without her mother.

Then at TCBC today, the choir dedicated their anthem to her, and Uncle Jeff reminisced about what a blessing and joy it was to have had Chino in the TCBC choir with them.

Go in love; have no fear.
God will guide you, He is always near.
Go in love; take His hand.
God will hear you, He will understand.
May His light forever shine upon you;
May His peace be always in your heart.
Go in love; face each day.
God will lead you, He will show the way.
Go in love and live in faith.
Amen.

I barely knew Chino, but I'm glad she is no longer suffering, and that she is with God now. May her faith and service to the Lord be an everlasting example to us all.

2006-10-22T22:06:00.000-04:00

Great Week

*sigh* If only I didn't have to worry about board exams, life would be so perfect right now. I wish I didn't have to bring myself to study all the time. I'm really lucky, in that, in comparison to my other accounting counterparts, life has not been too busy at the office just yet. Busy enough that I'm not sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but nothing stressful that has required me to work late.

The past few weeks, I've been able to go out a lot with my friends - 375 reunion @ 7 West, $6.99 Indian buffets in Brampton, introducing better Chinatown Pho to the ultimate team, reuniting with some Comm '06s, hot pot with the family, etc.

This past weekend, I had lots of fun! Seeing Tracy & Liv again........it's been way too long girls! =)

It was fun to just sit back and reminisce about the fun times we shared at 212 University, the ghettoness and disgusting nature of the house, the tinyness of the bathroom (as seen above), and all the laughs we had. Too bad Jody couldn't make it. Chilling with Alex & Tif was tons of fun too - we have to go out more often! But yay to Las Vegas post-SOA! hehe! Can't wait, hope it works out! Then top off the weekend with some climbing with Anna, Frank & Char, then Burrito Boyz and "The Departed" with some fellow TCBC-ers, and I have to admit, I'm having a blast.

I'll admit, the struggles I'm sharing at my church are still there, but I know, that given time, things will develop. Also, it looks like the Deloitte small group might really be taking off - we'll see where God leads this. But recognizing that for anything to really happen in a small group, the commitment and passion from each one of us needs to be there. I'll only get out from it what I put in. I'm also trying to make the most of my TTC commute time each morning, by doing some reading. I just finished the book "Captivating" and it's given me a lot to think about, in terms of developing into a woman of God. Definitely stuff to chew on...

Side note - I guess Queen's Commerce is really handing out that brochure to tons of people. Michael (Grade 12) was just teasing that he saw my photo on the brochure and said, "Hey! I know that girl!" Then another auntie, who I don't really know, approached me after service and said, "I thought so! Is that YOU on the brochure for Queen's Commerce?" Hope it helps out with recruiting, hehe!

2006-10-17T22:54:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!!!!

To my fellow 375 girl, my Commie girl, my sister in Christ, thanks for being the awesome, amazing, patient friend that you are. So much has happened since these fun, carefree times eating yummy pastries in France, but through the laughter and the tears you've been there to share it all with me. I praise God for how much He's worked in your life this past year, for the trials He's brought you through and for His continued faithfulness. I can't wait to see what God has in store for you this year!

Hope you had an amazing day! =)

2006-10-10T14:19:00.000-04:00

Part of the Real World

Now that I've had training, been staffed to do stuff, had 2 paycheques and gotten my business cards, I guess one could say that I'm officially part of the "real world." But it's funny, I really don't feel that way. As I sit through firm training sessions or UFE prep classes...it still feels like I'm a kid. I still feel like a student, and it hasn't quite hit that this is IT! I'm not going back to school anymore (well, unless I make a life-changing decision to do grad school or something), and the stuff that I do on a daily basis MATTERS. It's not hypothetical cases that you do in class anymore, these are real clients with real businesses and real money!

But aside from that, I really am loving work - I'm so blessed to be part of a small group in such a large firm, because through that, I have more personal connections and relationships with my co-workers. Golfing with the Group 115 girls was uber fun last Thursday, as we just didn't care about how good our golf games were, and we just giggled around and shared a bit about our lives. Really fun. =)

I am having trouble still finding my place here in T.O though. While living at home does have many benefits, I really miss coming home to my 375 or 212 girls. I miss having girls to giggle and laugh and have fun with. I'm also struggling at church. As many know, I love my home church, TCBC. While I still feel called to continue to be a part of TCBC, I do struggle though. I don't feel like I belong there yet. It's one of those interesting ironies - most TCBCers view me as the social, outgoing girl who's always BEEN a part of the church. Most would never even think that I'd feel out of place. But I do. Sure, I've been heading up the softball team for the past 4 years while I was gone, but even half of Recon doesn't go to TCBC. And with familiar faces like Shu & Pris gone.......it's been difficult. The sudden influx of TONS of UT frosh has kinda been overwhelming as well. But as many have told me, it will just take time. I've been away for 4 years, so it'll take time to find my place again.

I also have to really let go of some things at Queen's.....how best to do it, only God knows. And that's the answer I'm currently searching for....

2006-10-01T22:07:00.000-04:00

Deerhurst!

I swear, my last trip ever! And this one was cuz of work, so it's not my fault! Anyway, the week of training at Deerhurst resort was lots of fun! I'll admit, at first I wasn't too excited to go, and even during the first night, I wasn't really having fun. There were just TOO MANY people. Honestly, training week is just like frosh week - there's about 150 people, people stick to the people they know (so usually people from the same universities) and there's a lot of names thrown at you that you'll never remember unless you're put on the same audit team.

But I was very blessed to have some really cool fun roommies (yay to the UTM crew!), as well as some good talks with my friends. Plus fun times at night with my savages!

It was also a fun week of classes with Jon & Joe as our facilitators. Yay to the group for our awesome rendition of "Summer Nights" and for coming in 1st place! Our 1st place finish in the Talent Show earned us 4 free cream pies, so we had fun taking down our facilitators, as seen below.

I love my savages! Those Open Bars can get kinda messy, but the boys always show me a good time! The boys are so sweet and uber fun! Overall a great week! =)

2006-09-23T21:57:00.000-04:00

Content

Just satisfied, and happy. Content. Knowing I'm where God wants me to be, excited to see what He has in store for me this year. Excited to grow, excited to see how He wants to use me. Maybe it's something in playing ultimate with my new team, catching up with the Public Sector "family" at Deloitte, climbing with Anna, or just watching Mel talk to her new "friend." I'm just really happy right now. There's this indescribable joy. And all I can do is thank God for it. =)

Off to Deerhurst tomorrow for training - I swear, LAST trip in a while!